Close Meditations of a Visual Kind

Woke all groggy from a dream. Not sure if groggy is from the dream or from not sleeping well, or otherwise. Doesn't much matter, slow waking and coffee are helping.

Dream involved trying to tell someone in the terminal to board a cruise ship that I'd forgotten my luggage and passport that day, coming straight from school (dunno what I studied at school, don't think I taught at school). Did bring my camera bag. Had to be on the cruise for some reason and couldn't verbalise it in the dream, also never actually came up in the discussion. Carnivale Cruise was the line, and the FCORN is holding their summer meeting this year on a cruise, so that may be the source for some of this. However, and I reminded myself of this in the dream, I'm not particularly fond of cruising with Carnivale and this from experience. Wasn't a bad time, simply not planning to repeat it. Other cruise lines we'd rather try.

Herself will be departing today for Trimaris Coronation SCA event. I shall hold Ranch Watch.

Why yes, I do remember the dream from last night, why do you ask?

Looking at/for a house to purchase (not sure why, am not planning on selling Teh Ranch). Found one, though Herself wasn't with me. Old place, being restored, almost done. Large place. So large, in fact, that the conscious mind after waking said, 'Self, that wasn't a house, it was a bloody hotel.'

I recall thinking, looking into a room on the ground floor, that it could be my photo studio. Then I went upstairs, looked down the extent (and expanse) of the upstairs, uninterupted by walls, and said, No, this is my photo studio. Hardwood floors needing refinishing, the age of the building, and a couple of smaller (relative, all things are relative) rooms to one side with either an electrician or plasterer working in them. Somewhen in this part of the dream is when I measured (by pacing) the length of the house walking from one end to the other. A mere 305 m (1000 feet).

And, at the far end I entered another room, filled with marvelous antique clutter, looking much like an attic, and thinking ah wonderful props for the studio. Then I found a meeting going on, in this room, of a number of surgeons I used to work with in OR. I ignored them, cataloging the windfall of properties for photosessions.

And the price of this huge house? Why, of course, in today's economy a mere 2K. Or, was it 200K? Not totally clear on that part.

Woke up from a dream this morning. As mentioned before, usually don't recall dreaming much less part of the dream. In this one I was at AORN Headquarters to make some photographs. In that odd way that dreams possess, I knew it to be Headquarters even though it didn't look anything like the building in Denver. Partly I'm sure I knew this because of some of the people in the dream with me.

Mostly what struck me is, as we prepared for the photos, I looked at the camera with me, my Mamiya C330, and thought, I didn't bring film.


Dream now open to interpretation by any readers of Flist who care to toss in random numbers.

I suspect what it really means, though, is I've become quite accustomed to working with a digital SLR.

In all probability I dream every night; simply, I rarely remember even dreaming, much less the dreams themselves. So it's always somewhat bemusing when I do. Part of the recall is that I dreamt I was awake. I suppose I could actually have been awake, in which case I was dreaming I was asleep. I mean, I did wake up around 03:00, and this all took place after that.

However, there's something that stands out in this dream: I dreamt about Aquinas College in Grand Rapids, Michigan. It's one of those odd things, because what I see in the dream looks nothing like my memories, or photographs, of Aquinas. This is where I experienced my Freshman and Sophomore years of college, my first two years away from home (even though Dad still paid for the majority of it), before the money ran out and I did my stint as a Federally Subsidised Tourist.

What is a Federally Subsidised Tourist, you may not ask. Well, the ad said, "Join the Navy, See the World." I did, and I did, at least parts of it. And when I finished my stint, and resumed my Academic Life with something of a prolonged Sophomore year because I switched my educational directions, I did so at a very different academic institution, and in a very different place, namely North Central Baja Jorja and at the University of Fl...Baja Jorja. In Nursing. Paid for about 98% by myself either directly or through the auspices of my rich Uncle, Sam, in return for that stint.

My major at Aquinas was pre-Engineering. Halfway through the second year it became obvious that I wouldn't be finishing up at AQ, yet still I continued with my pre-Engineering curriculum. Thus, some of my electives on my final college transcript (Bachelor of Science of Nursing) include "Strengths of Materials", "Structure and Design", "Engineering Graphics", and "Vectors in Design." Also on my electives list is the only formal art, and photography education that I've got.

So it's somewhat bemusing that when I experience this dream (it's happened before), the visuals are not from my memory, yet I am absolutely positive that where I am is at Aquinas. This time, my purpose there included working on a combined Masters, a Masters in Fine Art/Masters of Science in Nursing. This, despite the fact that I know I'm much closer to the end of my clinical nursing career and really don't need to get another degree at all.

Aquinas, as I said, measured the beginning of my academic career. And I can tell you that as an 18 and 19 year old student, academic performance did not list at the top of my priorities unlike after my stint as a F.S.T. This is quite obvious if one ever compares the two, separate, transcripts and grade point averages. I provided a great deal of frustration to several of my teachers then, and I know which ones: Mr. Sedlecky my engineering teacher, Sister Caroline my math teacher, and mostly Mr. McCormick my chemistry teacher. Now, my engineering grades were never bad, and in fact I recall some "B" grades in there, but I barely passed math and chem.

And in years much later, with such barely passing grades, amazed myself at my recall of principles and facts from both of those latter two courses. Simply astounded at how much those two teachers managed to force-feed me. And in once case, chemistry, terribly grateful that I did manage to pass because at UF at the time, Chemistry was one of the "weed-out" courses for the pre-Med students, very tough, and with little help from either faculty or grad student teaching assistants. In the other case, my prior math education also provided me with the only time in my life when I've "set the curve," a long story in itself involving a designated Algebra and Trigonometry pre-requisite class for the College of Nursing which could not be CLEP'd nor avoided by having higher math on the record already (the higher math also counts as electives).

I know what the source of these recurring dreams is. They don't recur frequently, and they always carry a certain feeling with them. I know I'm not likely to be involved with AQ again, despite the dreams and this feeling they bring. Herself is not interested in living somewhere that experiences any kind of regular snow accumulation, and Grand Rapids does. It's that I started off moving in one direction, started learning that meaningful relationships can be built, started picking up some formal background in one of my major passions in life, and then it stopped. When it resumed, it did so in a completely different direction, elsewhere.

Aquinas feels like unfinished business to me.